Dealing with Customer Complaints

Message from a customer: "I left my last brokerage for misleading me with false facts about performance....tell me why I shouldn't do the same with your company?" My response: "Please do. You sound like a pain in the ass customer." That's probably why they don't let me respond to customer complaints.

Published on 29 June 2018 at 20h56 by Dave, tags

"Xcel files are just databases"

Oh, buddy, not quite. Had a friend tell me this in all seriousness today. Like, I understand where you're coming from and how you're using it, and I get that you're parsing the data out of it with JavaScript to perform tasks, but you're missing out on a lot of things a database can do for you. For what you're doing Redis would probably be a better (and faster!) solution, or maybe a relational depending on the complexity and size of your data. I swear every company needs to hire a programmer and just make them sit with people to figure out ways to make their jobs easier and better.

Published on 17 January 2018 at 10h11 by Dave, tags

Starting to get comfortable with linux

Ran a rake routes | grep 'brand' command at work today. Didn't bother to look it up, just typed it out and it worked. Boom! Finally, one piece of basic linux competency learned, and it only took me 14 years! Woo!

Published on 21 October 2017 at 00h23 by Dave, tags , ,

Loop holes

Received this feedback today: "Refactored your refactor cause there were some loop holes"(sic)

Ok, buddy. I haven't been told there were holes in my logic since my first semester programming class in college, but let's take a look at what you found. Looked it up and there weren't any holes in the logic, he just wanted the logic moved from the subclass into the base class. Got it, not sure why he didn't just say it that way. It's a reasonable refactor, but my logic was flawless the way it was.

Addendum: Was working on some code at work that's been in production for 3 years (I've been there less than 5 months) that was dropping records from a parsed file. No one noticed, no client complained, I just had to deal with it for an upgrade. Had to trace the logic out and found out that the logic was bad. You want to complain about my logic? Noted.

Published on 09 October 2017 at 20h20 by Dave, tags ,

Wrote my first Slack Slash Command!

I'm surprised at how easy it was to do. I went into the slack web interface and created an app through there and enabled the slash commands, then added a new slash command that posts to an API end-point. I wrote an API end-point in my application at work to return a JSON with the different AB tests we have on production for each of our web sites recently so I wanted to point to that. I used {"code":"200", "message":"24,145,146"} as the return but Slack uses "text" instead of "message" so I added a new endpoint that called the same function but with a 'slack' flag and if the flag is true it writes the output to "text" instead of "message" and then slack dumps that into the channel when it receives the slash command. I went back into the web interface and installed the app to the team. Super easy to do and now my front-end team that doesn't have access to the application but constantly needs to know which tests are on production have a simple way to get it without asking me! Empowering users, and saving my time. I like it!

Published on 05 May 2017 at 16h53 by Dave, tags , ,

Offended an employee today by asking him where he found his code

"Where did you find the code you used for that task?"

"Where did I find the code?"

"I can see you wrote most of it yourself but there's pieces that I'm guessing you found on a forum somewhere, maybe stackoverflow?"

"I don’t remember but the piece that I found is the piece for remove the duplicates. line 176 to 180 maybe stackoverflow.
the other is from and old project that I did in my last job."

"Cool. It's an interesting approach. There's a couple spots I think we can tighten it up but good job."

"Hey, sincerely take care how you ask some questions. Sometimes I feel that you treat us as if we know nothing of what we do."

Dude, seriously? I was just being polite. Your code looks like you bought some commercial engraved wooden boxes and then tried to build a dresser to contain them out of loose sticks from the forest and duct tape. It's diamonds covered in dog shit and you're trying to pass it off as high-end jewelry. You didn't write most of that code, and I know that because I have to redo the entire task now because it's so far off from what should have been written that it's futile for me to try to describe what it should look like and give you a second chance.

You only found the piece for removing duplicates online? Oh, cool, so you wrote that regex piece yourself? I didn't realize you were a regex master. I still have to look that shit up every time I use it so I'll just come to you with my regex questions in the future. Shut up clown. I treat you like you know nothing because you know nothing. I wasn't mad that you looked up code online, I do that too, I just wanted to know if you have a resource that I don't know about so I can use it too. Now I know who I'm dealing with and, news flash: You're no rock star.

Published on 19 July 2016 at 17h48 by Dave, tags , ,

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